Baseball Needs More Performance Enhancement

July 24, 2013

What’s wrong with major league baseball?  It seems that practically every day there’s a new PED scandal.  PEDs are “performance-enhancing drugs,” for those who haven’t been paying attention.

But what’s the big deal?  Baseball is the most boring professional sport in existence (unless you consider golf a professional sport).  With 162 games a year and each game lasting about nine hours or so, baseball could use some entertainment enhancing drugs (EEDs).

Consider the PED Hall of Shame … Roger Clemens, Bobby Bonds, Mark Maguire, A-Rod, Bartolo Colon, Melky Cabrera, Rafael Palmeiro, Jose Canseco, Jason Giambi, Andy Pettitte, Sammy Sosa, Gary Sheffield, Mo Vaughn, Manny Ramirez (who seemed to be under the influence of something other than steroids) and most recently Ryan Braun.  The list could be much longer and these are just the guys who have been caught.

Not coincidentally, these role models have been among the best performers in the game.  That’s why steroids are called “performance-enhancing drugs.”

It’s impossible to take PEDs out of baseball completely, so why bother?  There’s a better solution.  Why not go in the opposite direction and REQUIRE major league players to take steroids.

Heck, they’re being paid enough to ruin their bodies, right?  If everyone’s on anabolic steroids, the baseball field is leveled.  No one gets an advantage from taking steroids if everyone in baseball is already on steroids.

No more time or money will be wasted taking drug tests.  And think of the advantage it will provide to fans.  It could make baseball at least as exciting as NASCAR racing.

Who doesn’t want to see records being broken?  Sure, there may be lots of asterisks in the record books, but so what?

Baseball has always been a reflection of America’s culture.  Our country was founded on the idea that hard work and talent will be rewarded.  Now, success often comes from hiring the most influential lobbyist.  Cheating will get you ahead in business and politics.  Why should baseball be any different?

 

 

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