Stop the Slaughter of Innocent Bugs. Send Your Check Today!

March 20, 2013

Every year, they’re exterminated by the millions.  As you read this, they are being eradicated with poisonous gases, crushed and wiped out.

Yet many Americans stand by and not only tolerate this mass murder, but cheer it on or participate in it.

I’m talking about bugs, of course.  Mosquitoes, flies, beetles, gypsy moths, termites, locusts, hornets, wasps, fire ants, fleas, ticks, bedbugs, cockroaches, earwigs and other species that get no respect.  Where is our compassion?

Is it really the flea’s fault that it spread the plague?  Is it the mosquito’s fault that it kills millions each year from malaria, West Nile disease and eastern equine encephalitis?

We don’t torture terrorists, yet we allow our children to pull the wings off of flies and burn ants with magnifying glasses.  These sick “rites of passage” have to stop!

What gives us the right to crush, swat and spray insects?  They outnumber us, they’re smaller than us and they’re defenseless.  And the media bias against bugs is almost on par with the bias against conservatives.

Bugs are not ours to maim, swat, torture, kill, poison, experiment on or abuse in any way.

Doing For Bugs What PETA Does For Animals

It’s time to do for insects what People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) has done for animals.  That’s why I’m forming People for the Ethical and Safe Treatment of Bugs (PESTB).  Consider the benefits:

  • Insects can teach us a great deal about diversity, as there are close to a million different species, some of which do not kill each other or eat their young.
  • Protecting bugs will protect the environment.  People may starve to death when we stop using pesticides, but that’s a small price to pay to protect leaf-eating bugs.  Then again, if we’re protecting anopheles mosquitoes, which spread malaria, there will be fewer people to feed.
  • We can learn a great deal from “bug communities.”  Consider the industrious ant, or the busy bee.  Imagine what your kids could learn by spending the day with a hive of killer bees.
  • The federal government has spent billions on exterminating insects.  It’s essential to balance this discriminatory practice by making funds available to help keep bugs alive.  PESTB will seek federal funds, for example, to nurture the mosquito population in Washington, D.C.
  • PESTB will work diligently to add bugs to the Endangered Species List.  Where would we be without the tsetse fly?
  • We will put a stop to hurtful terms like “pest” and “parasite.”

So why not join us?  As “activists,” you will be guaranteed plenty of favorable media coverage.

You will also have an opportunity to get rich and receive tremendous tax benefits.  Well, I will, anyway.  But honestly, none of that is important to me.  I just care about bugs.

Bugs are truly the “little guys.”  They need our help.  It’s time for the fleas in your flea circus to be paid union scale and for the ants in your ant farm to receive the same level of protection OSHA affords to all of us.

Demand justice for bugs today by sending a very large check to PESTB.  Hurry!  As you write your check, millions of bugs are being massacred throughout the world.


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