To Three Mothers

May 12, 2013

My Mom

“What are your plans for Thanksgiving?” my mother asked on a Saturday in November.

“Mom, Thanksgiving was Thursday.  We picked you up, brought you to our house for dinner, then brought you home.”

My mother, at 85, no longer remembers what day it is, but she still remembers me and she remembers my sister.  She is happiest when she asks about her grandchildren, even if she can’t remember that my oldest son is married and that she attended the wedding two-and-a-half years ago.  Or that my youngest son is not married, but has long since graduated from college.

Every time I tell her that Danny is married and will be celebrating his third anniversary this summer, it is new and happy news to her.  And she asks when he and his wife, Lauren, will be having children.  Every time I tell her that James is not married, but that he has just landed a job at Oracle, she asks when he will be getting married and having children.

Mom has had a tough life.  Her own mother was tragically killed by her father when she was young, so she had no mother of her own, but made up for it by being the best mother she could be.

I was a twin.  My brother died a few days after we were born.  Thirty years later, I told my mother that I wanted to name our first son after my brother and she still couldn’t talk about it.  Instead, she showed me a yellowed newspaper article that explained the rare occurrence of women becoming pregnant with a second child when they are already pregnant.  She didn’t have to look for the article; she knew exactly where it was.

My mother says that my brother Daniel still sometimes comes to visit her, and that she will be with Daniel and her own mother soon.

My brother Daniel is not with us, but he inspires me.  So does my mother.

My Wife

My wife of 30+ years woke up early this morning to celebrate Mother’s Day by making me breakfast, then preparing lunch for our two boys, who visited this afternoon.  I offered to help, but she turned down my weak offer.

Seeing our boys, of course, was the highlight of our day.

We did something right as parents, as they both are happy in life, debt-free and gainfully employed.  Our oldest was hired just out of college by Meditech, a medical software company.  He manages to balance his job with his love for music … he and his wife Lauren both play in a band called Sonic Pulse that has toured much of the country.  James is smart and level-headed; while it was a challenge to get him to empty the trash when he lived at home, anyone he’s worked for speaks highly of him.  That’s enough for me.

It was a beautiful afternoon and would have been, even if it rained all day.

My Sister

My sister, Trish, has taken it upon herself to be the caregiver of our mother.  It’s not an easy job.

I makes the hour’s drive every Saturday to see mom, but my sister travels almost as far twice a week to see her.  She arranges mom’s doctor’s appointments, takes her grocery shopping, handles her legal affairs and makes certain her medication is given to her by a neighbor.

Saturday, we took mom to lunch.  She arranged that, too.

I’m thankful for the three mothers in my life.



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