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Goodbye Public Relations, Hello Content Marketing (Content Marketing, Part 1)

April 21, 2014

Today, content marketing rules.  We create content, manage content, share content and even try to amplify content.  Content is being promoted, optimized, aggregated, repurposed and even curated.

So what is this thing called “content marketing” and how can it help your business?

The Content Marketing Institute defines content marketing as “a marketing technique of creating and distributing valuable, relevant and consistent content to attract and acquire a clearly defined audience – with the objective of driving profitable customer action.”

The CMI provides plenty of free information, but it could use some help with its content, which is loaded with marketing clichés, so allow me to translate that definition for you.

The Language of Evasion, Hypocrisy, Prudery and Deceit

February 17, 2014

Why don’t we just say and write what we mean?

Instead, we often communicate in code.  Apparently, we’ve concluded that the people we talk to or write to can’t handle the truth, because we increasingly substitute euphemisms for real communication.

A euphemism puts a yellow smiley face on what we really mean.  It is a verbal cosmetic, a word or phrase applied like makeup to a wrinkled, sagging reality.  It seeks to be comforting, but is often annoying.  It is, as R.W. Holder put it, “the language of evasion, hypocrisy, prudery and deceit.”

Uncomfortable realities, such as death or job loss, bring out the worst verbal obstructions.  Today, no one dies.  People “pass on” and even pets are “put to sleep.”  If you’ve “lost” a “loved one,” unlike losing a set of reading glasses, you’re never going to find him.  A lost loved one is not misplaced – he’s dead – but it would be bad form to say so.

Good News: ObamaCare Will Cause Millions to Quit Their Jobs

February 7, 2014

ObamaCare’s greatest achievement has been overlooked until now.  It will enable millions of Americans to quit their jobs and have their health insurance paid for by those of us who are still working.

This may not sound like a good thing, but it is.  Just ask E.J. Dionne of The Washington Post, who pointed out that ObamaCare will free Americans from the “tyranny” of “job lock.”  In other words, instead of being locked into a job because they need health insurance, millions of Americans will be able to stay at home watching television, because those of us who work will pick up the tab for their insurance.

Americans used to think that taxation without representation was tyranny.  Now being a wage slave and working for a living is tyranny.

Your Health Insurance Is About To Become Illegal

January 27, 2014

The Affordable Care Act, aka Obamacare, is already about as popular as male Zumba classes, but next year, it will be worse.  Much worse. 

This year, 4.7 million Americans had their health insurance canceled because it failed to conform to the strict standards of the ACA. 

Next year, the employer mandate kicks in.  That’s when the real fun begins, as an estimated 80 million Americans will find that the health plans they have fail to meet Obamacare requirements. 

Imagine the reaction if 80 million Americans find their healthcare plans canceled and have to go through a healthcare exchange to sign up for new coverage at a higher cost.  Affordable Care Act?  Really? 

Ginormous News: A Secret Blog Entry about Beyoncé

December 29, 2013

OMG!  I’ve been thinking about writing this blog post since I heard about Beyoncé’s no-longer-secret album two weeks ago.

Yet I’ve kept it secret, even from my wife, from Beyoncé and from Beyoncé’s producer, because apparently no one tells him anything anyway.

I’ve kept this blog post a secret for the same reason that Beyoncé kept her album a secret.  If I told anyone about it when I first thought about writing it, it wouldn’t be news today.  But since I’m telling you now, it’s big news.  After all, we’re talking about Beyoncé.

Maybe, like Beyoncé, I can get 1.2 million tweets within 12 hours of posting this.  Maybe I can break Bey’s new record of more than 5,300 tweets per minute.  On the other hand, I don’t have a social media and public relations team working non-stop to promote my blog.  But maybe I can get a few comments!

Dreaming of an All-Inclusive Christmas

December 21, 2013

Liberals should make up their minds about Santa Claus. First, they censor any public display of Christmas and even make us feel uncomfortable about wishing others a “Merry Christmas.” Then they want an affirmative-action black Santa or, worse still, a penguin Santa.

The penguin Santa was suggested by Slate columnist Aisha Harris, who was traumatized by growing up with both a white Santa and a black Santa. If Heather can adjust to having two mommies, you would think Aisha could adjust to having two Santas. But all of this exposure to western cultural icons clearly creates an emotional burden for non-white Slate columnists, especially when the fat, white guy is more widely accepted than the black guy in a clear case of disparate impact.

Beware of Fake News

December 6, 2013

What do you get when you combine an advertisement with a news story? Those in the industry would say, “An advertorial.” Those who have spent money on advertorials, though, would say, “Not much.”

The advertorial is the illegitimate child of advertising and journalism. It represents the worst of both worlds, as it lacks the credibility of journalism and the effectiveness of advertising. It’s as tacky as an infomercial and generally as worthy of attention as yesterday’s weather forecast.

Backward

October 20, 2013

Ironically, by focusing on defunding Obamacare, conservative Republicans helped the new entitlement by deflecting attention from the failed launch of the federal healthcare exchange that is Obamacare’s core program.

“Failed” is an understatement.  It was like a Fourth of July fireworks display on the Esplanade consisting of a single sparkler.  It was like fighting World War II with a slingshot.  It was like trying to end world hunger with a Happy Meal.  The Obama legacy is now, “Backward,” not “Forward.”  It’s “No, We Can’t,” not “Yes, We Can.”

The Buck Stops There

October 11, 2013

“America cannot be great if we go broke.”

National Commission on Fiscal Responsibility and Reform

Imagine a CEO who has been spending more money than his company takes in.  He has been operating without a budget for more than four years, because his budget proposals are so out of line, no one will support them.  His company will stop running if he fails to negotiate an agreement with his board of directors.  The CEO announces publicly that he will not negotiate.  He leaves the country and puts his CFO in charge of reaching a deal.  Except his CFO says he will not negotiate, either.  As a result, the company shuts down.

Whose fault is it?

In Obamaland, the fault never lies with the Commander in Chief, who seems to think his most important job is to blame others.  It’s a job he’s very good at.  While President Truman was famous for saying, “The buck stops here,” for President Obama, anything that happens is always someone else’s fault.

On the rare occasion that something good happens during his administration, though, he’s quick to take credit.  You may recall, for example, that he personally captured Osama Bin Laden.

How would you like to have a boss like that?

The World Is Upside Down - Part One

September 25, 2013

The earth isn’t cubed yet, like Bizarro World, but it increasingly seems to be upside down, inside out and moving backward instead of forward.

The fictional planet Htrae, aka Bizarro World, was invented by D.C. Comics as a comic spinoff from the typically stiff and serious world of Superman.  On Bizarro World, people would buy bonds to lose money and politicians would be put in charge because of their stupidity.  On Htrae, black is white and wrong is right.

Is Earth any different?  In today’s world, we have a President who “leads from behind.”  He snubs allies, but meets and negotiates with dictators, such as the president of Iran, who refuses to even shake his hand.

We have a United Nations that’s run by the thugs of the world.  The United Nations seems to exist to criticize the United States and Israel, even though America is its main source of funding and Israel is America’s ally.